Methodology

(Many of the views and sentiments expressed in this page flies against the doctrines of insani that are outlined in their development blog. The following views are of the director and NNL, not insani.)

Why was a quarter of the script removed?
As stated in the beginning of the game, approximately one-quarter of the script was edited out. The exact number of text blocks removed is 7286. That is enough text to fill up three or four short doujin visual novels, so at first it may appear that we have hacked the story to bits. However, we will tell you that there were no major scenes which were entirely deleted. In fact, the typical reader will not notice that anything has been removed. This was not censorship because the words were never objectionable in the first place. It was refinement.

We felt that removing a quarter of the script was necessary to enhance the script so that it would meet the high standards set by the localization team. What follows next is a behind-the-scenes tour as to why this decision came to be.

Defining the term "editing"
In the fansub community, the term is usually defined as scanning the raw translation and wording it into a natural manner. That is grammar checking, not editing.

NNL approached editing the way that films are edited, except without entire scene deletion. Was each text block necessary? Did the text block contribute to the big picture? Did the text block represent the nature of the character? Editing, in its truest form, is isolating the best parts of your draft, revising those parts, removing everything else, and ordering it into an acceptable product. Not everything that is written or filmed will make it. Editing also involved checking the programmed output for any technical problems.

Editing for Wind had five passes:

Manuscript pass 1 - The original edit which took seven months. The idiosyncrasies of the characters were determined at this stage. 5517 text blocks were removed during this stage.

Manuscript pass 1 post-alpha - Applied all of alpha-testing's suggested changes to the manuscript.

Technical pass 1 - Approximately fifty-five CGs were re-created. Scripts were reprogrammed for additional transitions and features, and portrait mismatches were removed. For example, clicking on "opening movie" in the menu originally executed only the opening movie. In our localization, you may access any of the three cinematics through this option as they are unlocked. Also, the CD version had a margin length of 59. This was reduced to 58 in the DVD version, which prompted a manual margin correction.

Manuscript pass 2 - Most people would have released the patch before this stage. However, everyone knows NNL to be perfectionists. Armed with a J-E eDict and a thesaurus, we printed a hardcopy of the script, sat down, and highlighted all possible translation and stylistic errors. We also increased the note count from 57 to 83, and consulted outside sources on many of them. The end result had even more text blocks merged and removed.

Technical pass 2 - The DVD scripts were notorious for very slow transitions. Those were corrected, as well as all portrait mismatches created during manuscript pass 2. Removing comments from the script reduced the final size by 40 percent, and graphic files were optimized, resulting in the patch without cinematics to be under seven megabytes.

Visual novels are supposed to be a multimedia experience
One advantage that the visual novel has over its printed counterpart is the "visual" aspect itself. Instead of filling space with description, a game can simply show an event CG and allow the reader to imagine the implications. In fact, added descriptors in visual novels are most likely placeholders. The script is written out first by the scenario writer, then a scripter takes the raw text and inserts portraits, background CG, and event CG where necessary. Writing down "Minamo smiles" is a signal for the scripter to replace a downcast Minamo portrait with a cheerful one. Likewise, putting down "at the park" is a signal for the scripter to change locations. This makes the life of a scripter less daunting, but the end result to the reader is mounds upon mounds of heavy-handed description. Commercial visual novels suffer more their doujin counterparts due to an inclusion of voices and a larger amount of CG.

If someone were to read a manga or a comic book and came upon a panel in which a person was smiling, there would not be a subtitle or a second person describing the facial expression on that person's face. If a character giggled, the text would either have him showing the part ("hee hee~") or telling the part (she giggled), not both. Unfortunately, that is the pitfall of some visual novels.

Interestingly enough, the airing of the television anime series revealed a number of minor translation errors. We now had a face to match particular scenes in the game, and the context taken by the translator was different than the context shown in the anime. There are some things an anime can do, but a visual novel cannot.

The reader is intelligent
There are some areas of the script with excessive description. Observe:

Before:
# Text block 91
#ポツ。
-PLIP-
# Text block 92
#ポツポツ。
-PLIP PLIP-
# Text block 93, voice mn-B001-0065, Minamo
#「あ」
"Oh!"
# Text block 94
#俺とみなもは、同時に空を見上げた。
Minamo and I look up at the sky simultaneously.
# Text block 95
#曇り空から落ちてくる、小さな雫。
Tiny droplets of water are falling from the sky.
[TL comment: Yeah, Makoto. It's called 'rain', you idiot.]
# Text block 96, voice mn-B001-0067, Minamo
#「雨、降ってきちゃったね」
"It's starting to rain, isn't it?"
[TL comment: Minamo is absorbing Mako-chan's stupidity as well! Make it stop! Make it stooooooooop!]
# Text block 97, Makoto
#「ああ。みなもの家の方がここからは近いな。この買い物袋だけ
#でも、急いで持って帰ろう」
"Yeah. Fortunately, your place isn't far from here. Even
though we're burdened with these shopping bags, let's
hurry there."
# Text block 98, voice mn-B001-0069, Minamo
#「うん」
"Mm!"

Even the translator realized this. This particular section of text was not edited out because it was quite amusing. However, there were many instances where the reader is about to figure out what happened, only for one of the characters to blurt the situation without any build-up, tension, or character interaction. Speaking of character interaction...

Revelations should be revealed through character interaction
There was a unique script in the middle of the game where the story temporarily switched from a first-person perspective to a third-person perspective. During this time, something was revealed which ruined the surprise factor of another script near the end of the game. Much to the disappointment of NNL, this was also revealed in the anime. We re-worded the text block in question for the sake of our readers.

From time to time, the protagonist made general observations about the situation after having received an explanation from one of the girls. This was unnecessary because the reader already understood what was going on and had to wait for the protagonist to catch up. Since these text blocks only lent themselves to repetition, they were removed.

Dialogue must be interesting
There were a number of speech patterns repeated throughout the game. In real life, these speech patterns are repeated all the time, but dialogue in a visual novel should not emulate real life. A story is not everything that happened. It is everything important that happened. If it is not important, then it is not needed.

Good morning
Whenever the protagonist greets multiple girls at the same time, each one of them greets back in order to make their presence heard. If that was not enough to annoy the reader, the girls would then greet each other:

Before:
# Text block 1
#ピンポーン。
-DING-DONG-
# Text block 2
#チャイムが鳴り。
The doorbell rings.
# Text block 3
#玄関に出ると、そこにはいつものようにみなもが待っていた。
I walk to the entranceway, and just as ever Minamo is
waiting there.
# Text block 4, voice mn-A054-0003, Minamo
#「おはよう、まこちゃん」
"Good morning, Mako-chan!"
# Text block 5, Makoto
#「ああ、おはよう」
"Good morning to you, too."
# Text block 6, voice hn-A054-0003, Hinata
#「おはよう！　みなもお姉ちゃんっ！」
"Good morning! Minamo-oneechan!"
# Text block 7, voice mn-A054-0005, Minamo
#「おはよう、ひなたちゃん」
"Good morning, Hinata-chan."

After:
# Text block 1
*DING-DONG*
# Text block 2
!DELETE
[Onomatopoeia does the job.]
# Text block 3
I open the door.
# Text block 4, voice mn-A054-0003, Minamo
"Good morning, Mako-chan!"
# Text block 5, Makoto
#"Good morning."
!DELETE
# Text block 6, voice hn-A054-0003, Hinata
!DELETE
[This script is centered around Minamo. Having Hinata greet her is not important.]
# Text block 7, voice mn-A054-0005, Minamo
!DELETE

Shall we proceed?
Before any major scene transition with the protagonist and a girl, one of the characters asked for confirmation of what they are about to do. The other person, of course, always said yes. This speech pattern was completely pointless because it bogged down the pace and added nothing to the script.

Before:
# Text block 207, Makoto
#「ああ、ババ抜きならぬジジ抜きだ」
"Let's play Old Maid."
# Text block 208, voice mn-A063_2-0065, Minamo
#「トランプからカードを裏にしたまま一枚抜いて、どれがジョー
#カーかわからなくするゲームだよね？」
"You mean that game where we draw cards one at a time,
and whoever's holding the Joker at the end loses?"
# Text block 209, Makoto
#「ああ。トランプからカードを一枚抜いたということは、二枚で
#揃えられなくなるカードが出てくるということだからな」
"Yeah. The cards are evenly dealt out, the players
discard any pairs they are holding, and then they take
turns drawing face-down cards from each others' hands in
hopes of completing pairs."
# Text block 210, Makoto
#「どれがジョーカーかわからないところも、スリル満点だしな」
"And since the person who's drawing never knows which
card is the joker, it's pretty exciting."
# Text block 211, voice hn-A063_2-0071, Hinata
#「ジョーカーがはっきりわかった方が、ひなたはスリリングだと
#思うけど？」
"But I think it would be much more thrilling if everyone
knew which card the Joker was!"
# Text block 212
#ズゲシッ。
-ZUGESHII-
# Text block 213, voice hn-A063_2-0073, Hinata
#「うにゅ」
"Unyu."
# Text block 214, Makoto
#「水を差すようなことを言うな」
"Don't be so ridiculous."
# Text block 215, voice hn-A063_2-0075, Hinata
#「だって……」
"But ..."
# Text block 216
#ぐっすんひなた。
Hinata sniffles.
# Text block 217, Makoto
#「それじゃ、やるか」
"Well then, shall we?"
# Text block 218, voice mn-A063_2-0067, Minamo
#「うん」
"Sure."

After:
# Text block 207, Makoto
"Old Maid?"
# Text block 208, voice mn-A063_2-0065, Minamo
"You mean that game where we draw cards one at a time,
and whoever's holding the joker at the end loses?"
# Text block 209, Makoto
"Yeah. The cards are evenly dealt, the players discard
any pairs they're holding, and then they take turns
drawing face-down cards from each others' hands in hopes
of completing more pairs."
# Text block 210, Makoto
!DELETE
[The reader is intelligent.]
# Text block 211, voice hn-A063_2-0071, Hinata
"I think it would be much more thrilling if everyone
knew where the joker was!"
# Text block 212
*WHACK*
# Text block 213, voice hn-A063_2-0073, Hinata
"Unyu!"
# Text block 214, Makoto
"Don't be so ridiculous."
# Text block 215, voice hn-A063_2-0075, Hinata
"But..."
# Text block 216
!DELETE
[Visual novels are supposed to be a multimedia experience.]
# Text block 217, Makoto
!DELETE
# Text block 218, voice mn-A063_2-0067, Minamo
!DELETE

Say again/Are you sure?
This was this number one speech pattern that was edited out. It happened whenever a girl brought up a point to the protagonist. The protagonist either repeated this point in the form of a question or asked if he was sure, then the girl elaborated on what was said. It would have been fine if it only happened once in a while, but it repeated itself all the time.

Sorry for being late/Did you wait?
This is a customary Japanese greeting of humility. It was not required in most cases.

Before:
{int. shoe lockers}
# Text block 25
#学園の帰り。
On the way back from school.
# Text block 26
#俺と望ちゃんは、下駄箱で待ち合わせていた。
Nozomi-chan and I are supposed to meet at the shoeracks.
# Text block 27, voice nz-A047_2-0003, Nozomi
#「先輩っ」
"Senpai!"
# Text block 28
#振り向くと、望ちゃんが立っていた。
I turn around, and there stands Nozomi-chan.
# Text block 29, voice nz-A047_2-0005, Nozomi
#「待ちました？」
"Have you been waiting long?"
# Text block 30, Makoto
#「いや」
"No."
# Text block 31, voice nz-A047_2-0007, Nozomi
#「そうですか」
"Is that so?"
# Text block 32, voice nz-A047_2-0009, Nozomi
#「それじゃ、行きましょうか」
"Well then, shall we go?"
# Text block 33, Makoto
#「そうだな」
"Sure."
# Text block 34
#俺と望ちゃんは、わかばちゃんとひなたの誕生日プレゼントを買
#いに行くため、商店街へと向かったのだった。
Nozomi-chan and I cross the street over to the shopping
district in order to buy Wakaba-chan's and Hinata's
birthday presents.

After:
{int. shoe lockers}
# Text block 25
!DELETE
# Text block 26
!DELETE
[By this time, the reader should have recognized the background CG.]
# Text block 27, voice nz-A047_2-0003, Nozomi
"Sempai!"
# Text block 28
!DELETE
# Text block 29, voice nz-A047_2-0005, Nozomi
!DELETE
# Text block 30, Makoto
!DELETE
# Text block 31, voice nz-A047_2-0007, Nozomi
!DELETE
[Say again/Are you sure?]
# Text block 32, voice nz-A047_2-0009, Nozomi
"Are we still going?"
# Text block 33, Makoto
"Sure, let's go."
# Text block 34
Nozomi and I head over to the shopping district...
[It was explained earlier that they were purchasing presents.]

Thank you... for the food/for inviting us over
More stock Japanese phrases of protocol. These two in particular were seldom removed because the script actually did not have many instances of them.

Avoid hammering the point across
In the first half of Wind, heavy description was beneficial to the reader because he or she is not yet familiar with the characters. In the case of the protagonist, we learned the reasoning behind many of his decisions. This method started to backfire during the endgames. The original script made extensive use of one-liner flashbacks and soliloquies from the distraught characters. These soliloquies usually revealed past subtleties in the script, and the characters made extended speeches to justify their means.

A good tip in order to weed out those heavy-handed lines is to look for the Japanese word だから (dakara) which means therefore, or in a more contextual sense, that is why. If the speaker summed up a speech using this word, take a look back and see whether those previous text blocks were necessary. Sometimes they are in the case of repetition, but sometimes they are not.

In order to understand what the overall goal is, the following is the entirety of the most famous speech in the game. You may want to skip it if you have not completed Minamo's endgame. This time, the "before" and "after" snapshots are placed beside each other due to the enormous length.

Before: #「ねぇ、教えてよっ！！　まこちゃんにとって、わたしはなんな #の！？　まこちゃん、まこちゃんの方から、わたしにキスしてく #れたことないじゃないっ！！まこちゃんの方から、わたしを抱き #締めてくれたことないじゃないっ！！」 "Tell me, please!! What am I to you?! You've never kissed me for yourself, have you?! You've never hugged me for yourself, not even once, have you?!" #「わたし、まこちゃんにいっぱい、アプローチしたのに……。そ #れでもまこちゃんは気付いてくれなくて……。あの海でのことは、 #私の精一杯の勇気だったんだよ……」 "Even though I threw myself at you that obviously ... and still, you didn't notice me ... it took all my courage to do what I did at the beach ..." #「なのに、まこちゃんは答えを出してくれなかった……。わたし、 #怖くなった」 "But you never answered me ... it scared me." #「もしかして、まこちゃんは、わたしのことなんて、どうでもい #いと思ってるんじゃないかって。わたしは、だから怖くなった。 #『好き』って一言を、まこちゃんに言えなくなった。だって、拒 #絶されたら怖いもんっ！！」 "I got worried that you might think nothing of me at all. I was so scared. You didn't tell me that you 『loved』 me, not even once. It's scary to be rejected!!" #「わたしの気持ちは、子供の時から変わってない。だけど、まこ #ちゃんの気持ちは、わたしにはわからなかった」 "My feelings for you haven't changed since we were kids. But I've never know how you felt about me." #「わたしは、まこちゃんの昔の思い出しかもってない。だから、 #まこちゃんとの新しい思い出を作ろうって、わたし、必死だった。 #わたしも昔のわたしじゃなくて、新しい自分に変わろうって必死 #だった。まこちゃんの好きな女の子になりたいって思った」 "I didn't have any memories of you except our childhood ones. I NEEDED to make new memories with you, to show you that I wasn't just my childhood self anymore, either. I wanted to become the girl that you loved." #「でも、どんなに頑張っても、まこちゃんがわたしをどう思って #いるのかわからなかった……。わたし、こんなにまこちゃんのこ #とが好きなのに……」 "But no matter how much I tried, I could never figure out what you thought of me ... even though I love you this much ..." #「もしかしたら、わたしのこの想いは、まこちゃんにとって迷惑 #なものなのかもしれない。そんな風に、わたしは考えるようにな #ってきた。だから、やっぱりわたしはまこちゃんと友達でい続け #ようと思った」 "Maybe it is that these feelings of mine are just a bother to you. That's the way I began to think. So I thought I'd just go on being friends with you." #「まこちゃんにとって、わたしってなんなのか……。それを考え #るだけで、怖かったから。友達なら、こんな想いをしなくてもす #むと思ったから……」 "What was I to you, I wondered ... and no matter how I wondered, it was scary. Because if we were just friends, then these feelings could be lived without." #「わたし、このままでいいと思った……。わたし、このままでも #いいと思ったのに……」 "But I was fine being this way ... even though it hurt, I was still fine with it ..." #「でも、お父さんが死んで、わたしは本当に一人ぼっちになって #……。そしたら、このままじゃ嫌だっていう気持ちが湧いてきて #……っ」 "But my father died, and I became completely alone ... and then, all manner of bad thoughts came to me ..." #「そして、やっぱりわたしは、まこちゃんのことが忘れられない #んだって思ったの。思いが抑えきれなくなっちゃって……っ」 "But I could never forget you. I could never get you off my mind ..." #「だってまこちゃんは、わたしの初恋の人なんだもの……。ずっ #と、ずっと好きだったんだもの……」 "Because you are my first love ... I've always, always loved you ..." #「わたしは……わたしは……っ。まこちゃんのこと、わたし、子 #供の頃から大好きだった。だから子供の頃、まこちゃんと別れる、 #って聞いた時、すっごく泣いたんだよ。すっごく泣いたんだから #……っ」 "But I ... but I ... I've loved you ever since we were kids. That's why I cried so much when I parted from you back then. Until I ran out of tears ..." #「でも、まこちゃんとは笑顔でお別れしたいと思って。好きだっ #たから、まこちゃんにわたしの笑顔を覚えていて欲しかった。そ #して、いつかまた、まこちゃんに会えるって思って……」 "But I felt that you would want to part from me with a smile. Because I loved you, I wanted you to remember my smiling face. And I believed with all my heart that we would meet again someday ..." #「だからわたしは、まこちゃんと別れるあの時、精一杯の勇気を #振り絞ったんだよ。結婚しようって約束したよね。わたしにとっ #ては、あれは精一杯の勇気だった」 "So that's why I gathered up all my courage at that time. To ask you to marry me. That took all the courage that I had." #「もしかしたら、まこちゃんともう会うことはないかもしれない。 #でも、わたしはどうしてもまこちゃんが好きだった……。まこち #ゃんとの繋がりを消したくなかった……っ。だから、約束をした #んだよ」 "It was possible that we might never meet again. But still, no matter what, I loved you ... our connection could not be erased ... and so, I asked for that promise." #「あれは、まこちゃんにとって、ささいな約束だったのかもしれ #ないけど……。わたしにとっては、とても大切な約束だったの… #…っ」 "It might have just been an insignificant promise to you ... but to me, it was the most important promise ..." #「たとえ離れてもまこちゃんとの関係を、唯一、繋げてくれる約 #束だったから……っ。まこちゃんがあの約束を受け入れてくれた #時、わたしは本当に嬉しかった。だから、笑顔で別れられたんだ #よ……っ」 "So that even if I were to be separated from you, the promise would continue to conect us ... when you accepted that promise, I was really happy. And so, I was able to part with a smile ..." #「でも……。本当に長かった……。まこちゃんとの再会までの時 #間は、わたしにとっては本当に長かった……。わたしは、一生懸 #命にハーモニカを吹き続けた。いつか、この音色がまこちゃんの #耳に届くんじゃないか、って……」 "But ... it was so long ... it was such a long time for me before we met again ... I kept playing that harmonica with all my soul. So that its tone would reach you, surely one day ..." #「でも、年を経るにつれて、こんなことをしても、意味がないん #じゃないかって思えてきた……。だって、こんな小さなハーモニ #カの音色なんて、こんな大勢の人たちがいる世界で、まこちゃん #の耳だけに届くなんてありえないもの……っ」 "But I felt that even though the years had passed on, that promise of ours was not without significance ... but still, of all the many people in the world, how could the sound of this little harmonica reach only you ..?" #「それでも、わたしはこのハーモニカにすがるしかなかった……。 #あの約束にすがるしかなかった。わたしにとっての、まこちゃん #との接点。それは、このハーモニカと、あの約束しかなかったか #ら……っ」 "But still, there was nothing I could do but play that harmonica. I could only believe in our promise. That was my contact to you. This harmonica, and that promise we made ..." #「そして、４度目の引っ越しの時……。この街に引っ越してきた #時……。わたしの願いが、ようやく届いた……」 And then, at the time of the fourth move ... when I moved back to this town ... my prayer was finally granted ..." #「夕暮れの屋上で……。まこちゃんが立っていた……。まこちゃ #んは最初、わたしのことがわからなかったみたいだけど……」 "On the rooftop in the evening ... you were standing there ... although it was as if you were meeting me for the first time ..." #「わたしには、すぐにわかった。心臓が張り裂けそうだった。心 #が……飛び出しそうだった」 "But I knew immediately. It was like my heart was going to burst. As if my heart was ... going to jump out of my chest." #「そして、これが最後のチャンスなんだって思った。神様がくれ #た、最後のチャンスなんだって。私の気持ちをまこちゃんに伝え #る、神様からの最後のチャンスなんだ、って……っ」 "And then I felt that this was my last chance. One last chance that God had given me. One last chance to show the feelings toward you that I felt ..." #「だけど、まこちゃんは、昔と一緒で、わたしの想いには全く気 #付いてくれなかった。だからわたしは、まこちゃんに行動で知ら #せようと思った。わたしの想いを……」 "But, like the olden day, you didn't notice me one bit. So I thought I'd let you know through my actions. My feelings ..." #「でもまこちゃんにとって、わたしはいつまでも、昔の幼なじみ #のままだった。わたしにとっては、精一杯の勇気だったのに……。 #まこちゃんはわたしのそんな心に、気付いてくれなかった……っ」 "But for you, I was just your old childhood friend. No matter how much courage I built up ... you didn't notice this heart of mine ..." #「だから、わたしは怖くなったの……。もしかしたら、わたしの #ことを、まこちゃんは何とも思っていないんじゃないか……。だ #から、最後の賭けだった……っ」 "That's why I was scared ... what if you didn't think anything at all about me ... so I took one last gamble ..." #「海辺でのキス……。でもまこちゃんはやっぱり、何もわたしに #示してくれなかった……」 "The kiss at the beach ... but sure enough, you didn't show anything toward me ..." #「わたし、本当に怖くなって……。まこちゃんの気持ちが、わか #らなくなって。だからこのまま、幼なじみの関係でいいと思った #……」 "I got really scared ... I didn't know what you thought of me. And so I just thought we could go on as old childhood friends ..." #「でも、お父さんが死んじゃって……」 "But then my father died ..." #「……わたしにだって、わかってた。まこちゃんが、子供の時と #は違うってこと」 "... I knew all along. That you are different from the child that you were." #「でも、わたしには子供の時のまこちゃんの思い出しかなかった #んだもんっ。橘くんと紫光院さんみたいに、子供の時から今まで、 #ずっと一緒にいられたわけじゃなかったんだもんっ」 "But I only had memories of you from when we were kids. Because unlike Tachibana-kun and Shikouin-san, I hadn't grown up with you all the way up until now." #「まこちゃんとの空白の時間……。それを取り戻そうと、わたし #は必死だったんだよっ」 "That blank space of time between you and me ... I was desperate to make up for that lost time." #「そして、わたしも変わろうと必死だった。過去のわたしじゃな #く、新しいわたしになろうと必死だった」 "And I was desperate to show you that I wasn't the same anymore ... that I too had changed, and I wasn't the same old self." #「そうすれば、まこちゃんはわたしに振り向いてくれるんじゃな #いか……。幼なじみのわたしじゃなくて、新しいわたしなら、ま #こちゃんは振り向いてくれるんじゃないか、って思ったの……っ」 "And I thought for sure that if I could do that, then you'd turn around ... to see the new me, and not the old childhood friend ..." #「だから、髪型だって変えたんだよっ。わたしも、変わろうって #……っ。昔のわたしじゃなくて、新しい自分に変わろうって」 "That's why I changed my hair. To change myself further ... to show you that I was different from my old self." #「だけど、それでもまこちゃんは私を見てくれなかった……っ。 #まこちゃんは最後まで、私を見てくれなかった……っ」 "But even so, you wouldn't even so much as look at me ... to the end, you wouldn't look at me ..." #俺の胸は、みなもの流す涙で濡れていた。 My chest is wet with Minamo's tears. #「嫌いなら嫌いって、はっきり言ってよ……っ！！　私に気のあ #るそぶりを見せないでよっ！！　今、ここで、私のことが好きな #のか、答えてよぉ……っ」 "If you hate me, then tell me clearly that you hate me ... !! Don't leave me hanging like this!! Tell me right now -- do you love me, or not ...?" #「そうしないとわたし、まこちゃんのこと、いつまでも想い続け #ちゃうじゃない……っ！！　苦しいんだから……っ！！　想い続 #けているのは、とっても苦しいんだから……っ！！」 "If you don't, then I'm going to have these feelings toward you forever ... !! That's so painful ... !! It's so painful to have to keep bearing these feelings ... !!"

After: "Tell me! What am I to you? You've never wanted to kiss me, have you?! You've never even wanted to hug me!" "I threw myself at you so obviously... and still you didn't notice me... it took all my courage to do what I did at the beach!" "But you never answered me... and I was scared." !DELETE [We know she is scared. Compare teal text] "My feelings for you haven't changed since we were kids, but I never knew how you felt about me." "I didn't have any memories of you except the ones back then. I needed to make new ones to show you that I wasn't just my old self anymore. I wanted to become the girl you loved." "But no matter how much I tried, I could never figure you out, even though I practically gave myself to you!" !DELETE [The next text block sums up her feelings.] "I wondered what exactly I was to you... and no matter what I came up with, I was still afraid. If we were just friends, then I shouldn't even have these feelings toward you." "I was fine being this way. Even though it was painful, I was still fine with it..." "But then my father died, and I was all alone... and then all these horrible thoughts stirred in my head." "But I could never forget you. I could never get you off my mind." "You were my first love... I've always, always loved you." "I... I... I loved you for all this time. I cried when I learned that we were moving away from each other. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore." "But I felt that you would want to remember me with a smile. I wanted you to remember my smiling face, and I believed with all my heart that we would meet again some day." !DELETE [The reader knows this.] "It was possible that we could never meet again. But still, no matter what, I loved you... our bond could not be erased... and so, I asked for that promise." "It might have been insignificant to you... but to me, it was the most important promise of my life!" !DELETE [The reader knows this.] !DELETE [Stop questioning our intelligence!] "I felt that even though the years had passed, our promise was significant. But still, of all the people in the world, how could the sound of this one little harmonica actually reach you?" "There was nothing I could do but to keep playing. I had to keep believing, as that was my only way to contact you. I had to believe in the harmonica. I had to believe in our promise." !DELETE [Redundant.] "Then on that night, you were standing in front of me. It was as though you were meeting me for the first time." !DELETE [This line sounds cliched and stereotypical.] "I felt that this was my last chance. One last chance that God had given me. One last chance to tell you my feelings." "Just like back then, you didn't notice me one bit. So I thought I'd let you know them through my actions. My feelings, that is..." "But I was still just your old friend to you. No matter how much courage I built up... you didn't notice how I felt about you." "Then I became afraid... what if you didn't think of me as anything? So I took one last gamble..." "The kiss at the beach... but still you didn't show anything towards me." !DELETE [She mentioned this at the very beginning of the speech!] !DELETE [Oh yes, this too.] !DELETE [This is an unclear translation. 子供の時 probably refers to the moment of the promise, which means that Minamo is accusing Makoto of changing his mind. Regardless, this line was not needed anyway.] !DELETE [She already mentioned that she wanted to experience new memories. Minamo is not the type to be jealous of others.] !DELETE [Again, hammering the point across.] !DELETE [Watch the teal text. She will bring up this line of reasoning in two text blocks...] !DELETE [In one...] "That's why I changed my hair. To change myself... and to show you that I wanted something more." "But even then, you didn't notice me... in the end, you didn't even take one look at me!" !DELETE [Visual novels are supposed to be a multimedia experience.] "If you hate me, then tell me up front that you hate me! Don't leave me hanging like this! Tell me... do you love me or not?!" "I'll have these feelings toward you forever if you keep doing this to me! ...It's so painful! It's so painful to have these lingering feelings!"

That example had 12 out of 43 text blocks removed (27.9 percent), which is close enough to the script average. Now ask yourself... did the text flow more naturally? Was the emotional impact lessened from all of this text removal? Most importantly, did you lose any important information? If you are satisfied that the important parts were not shoved under a carpet, the editing is a success. In the example above, Minamo's original speech was bordering on unhealthy due to its length. The edit had Minamo talking about Makoto's failure to notice her multiple times, but each supporting piece of evidence was never repeated unnecessarily.

If you take a peek at the statistics, you will notice the endgames having a larger percentage of deleted text blocks than the prologue, trunk, and branches. The director consciously made an effort to reduce the number of non-spoken text blocks in those sections, preferring to allow the characters to advance the story themselves.

Localization is always a re-interpretation without the original author to hold your hand
We will never know whether nbkz Sakai, the director of minori's version, intended for Wind to be rife with redundant text. He was not the one who wrote the actual scenario, but we will get to that later. What we do know is that it did not cost them anything to add in a couple of extra lines, unlike a film production where every minute needs to count. After every text block, stop and take a second to determine what the script writer was trying to achieve. If that text block does not advance the general plot, current situation, or develop a character, then it is not needed. Visual novels are endurance testers. The readers do not need to be bogged down by grand descriptions fit for an amateur fan fiction piece. They do not need to be reminded every ten minutes about what is going on, and they certainly do not need the subtle character interactions to be handed to them on a silver platter.

Do all visual novels need heaps of editing? Absolutely not. Wind was an extreme example of heavy-handed writing. In fact, its script may only be indicative of how unskilled the scenario writers (Masaya Mukai/Nozomu Koga) were. Let us take a look at another offering from the same company. minori assigned two different scenario writers (Yu Kagami/Hare Kitagawa) for Haru no Ashioto, and as a result, the demo script was brisk, clean, and easy to localize. The original combined demos of Haru no Ashioto contained approximately 1300 text blocks. insani/NNL's localization only removed about 25 text blocks, and three-quarters of those were simply text block mergers. Therefore, the actual amount of text deleted was less than one-half of a percent. The Japanese responded to this change by reviewing Haru no Ashioto as one of the best visual novels of 2004 with a median score of 85 on EroGameScape, a meta-review site. Compare this to Wind's mediocre score of 71. Would Wind have received a higher score had the script been revised? We will never know for sure, but judging from the above example, we believe it would have been highly probable.

NNL wanted to attempt something different with this localization. We knew that every other visual novel translation project would not dare to delete even one percent of the original text. We do not expect anyone to follow our footsteps and start a revolution of visual novel revisions, but Wind may be the only visual novel to ever receive this treatment, and we wanted the readers to experience, just once, what the alternative can bring to the table.

It was quite possible that the literal, unabridged translation captured some of the original minority spirit, but removing the unnecessary parts of the script enhanced what nbkz was trying to achieve with the story. We stand by our decision. And with that, we will make this promise to you:

WE ASSERT THAT OUR RE-INTERPRETATION OF WIND IS SUPERIOR TO THE ORIGINAL.

One last thing... you may have noticed that the team snuck in a couple of pop culture items. Those text blocks obviously do not match the Japanese text and number in the single digits. We only wanted to have a bit of fun, seeing that it's a free localization and all. Besides, think of them as a tribute to Working Designs. Hee hee~

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